I don't like clutter, so I was picky when choosing who to follow. After settling on my sister, a few friends and a slew of triathletes I admire, I decided I would also follow a few health and exercise sites, since that is my profession. Soon after deciding to follow Men's Health, they posted an article titled: 100 Hottest Women of All Time (http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/hottest-women-all-time). I began to wonder to myself, "What do men consider to be beautiful?" I expected to see women like Heidi Klum and Natalie Portman, but was also surprised by many names on the list. Some women were classic beauties, other names I had never heard of. As I scrolled through the photos, it came to my attention that none of these women could fit into one definition of the word beauty. Each was so uniquely beautiful in her own way. Cameron Diaz and her legs. Shakira and her hips. Audrey Hepburn and her poise. Jennifer Aniston and her hair. Kim Novak and her mystery.
So often, women are told they must look a certain way or wear a certain product to be considered beautiful. When single, often women assume it's because men don't find them physically attractive, so they get makeovers or work extra hard to curl their hair just right. Mamma and Pappa will always find their daughter to be beautiful, but will anyone else? Are some women just blessed in other ways so they miss out on the Barbie figure and clear complexion?
In my final year of college, I was sick and tired of my butt. My entire life, I had dragged this ghetto booty around on a white girl's body. It was a thorn in my side and I was embarrassed by it. I would try to draw attention away from it and would always wear board shorts to the beach or swimming pool. For 22 years, I despised my bottom half. Once after a hard day of classes, I walked up the stairs to my dorm room and noticed some flowers outside of my door with a letter pinned to them. It was from my boyfriend Jonah.
Jonah adored me and he reminded me daily of how beautiful I was. Every time he would shower me with a compliment, I would take out a huge rifle and shoot it down. "You have an amazing body, Ash," or "I love your smile," were some of the compliments he would pay me.
"No, my butt is huge," or "But I have this crooked tooth," I would say back.
He was sick of hearing me complain about my "imperfections" and we got in a big fight about it, after which, he drove away angry and I was left in my bed crying. I was not surprised to see the flowers when I returned home the next evening. Jonah always went above and beyond to make me feel special after an argument. I opened the envelope and read the card. He was pleading me to recognize my stunning beauty and be confidant in who I was. He claimed it hurt him when I would not accept compliments and thought I was too fat or not good enough.
Inside the card was taped an ad from an airline magazine. Two shots of the same woman in tight jeans stood on each half of the torn out paper. On the left, the woman had a flat butt, however on the right, she had inserted a butt implant which had lifted and shaped her gluteal region. It was undeniable that the woman looked much better after the implant than she did before. Underneath, Jonah had scrawled, "See? Women pay hundreds of dollars to have a butt like you already have."
I cannot say that was a defining moment for me, where I realized my own beauty and never was ashamed of my badonkadonk again; however, I can say that I posted the magazine ad on my chalkboard and gradually began to appreciate the roundness of my behind.
We were beautifully and wonderfully knit together in our mother's womb. We are all exceptionally gorgeous individuals. Maybe we don't have Cameron's legs, Shakira's hips, Audrey's poise, Jennifer's smile or Kim's mystery, but we have our own legs, hips, poise, smile and mystery. Even though you may not look like Grace Kelly and may never catch the eye of Adam Levine, you have your own individual charm and will attract the perfect man's eye at the right time.
Not everyone will think you are beautiful; I have had men and women tell me I do not match their definition of beauty. There is one actress who several men have dubbed their perfect woman who I do not find attractive in the slightest. Do not be discouraged when someone tries to push you down for being too skinny or having bug eyes. One day, someone is going to love you for that exact characteristic. Be proud of the woman who you are, respect your body and hold yourself with confidence and poise. I promise you, at this very moment, someone is sitting dreaming of how beautiful you are.
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