Learning How To Be Cute Again

My last boyfriend did not like when I did cute things for him. I once spent five hours drawing a picture of a fish for him. The next day, he threw it out. After learning he did this with every letter I wrote him, every picture I drew, etc. because he didn't want to be a pack rat, I stopped doing cute things for him. I still bought him surprise coffees and made him good luck packages for his races, but I stopped putting effort into being that sweet, adorable girlfriend I used to be.

I did not want to put effort and time into something that was not going to be saved and cherished.

That boy and I broke up almost two years ago now and I have not dated since. Honestly, I have had no desire to try to be a girlfriend. I became so used to wearing my Lulus all day everyday. Even going out to dinner required more effort to get ready than I wanted to give... and all that really meant was brushing my hair, throwing on a cute top and pulling up a pair of jeans. Honestly, I became lazy, but I lived in an environment where that was okay. I was a group fitness instructor and an athlete. There was no need to invest time into being cute.

Then I realized something. People appreciate the cute things I do. When I was moving out of my apartment, I left simple poems on heart shaped paper taped to my roommate's door. She recently posted a photo on Facebook and those poems are still on her door. Not everyone will recognize your hard work, but one or two may treasure those little notes or that hand drawn card for the rest of their life.

Also, now that I have an office job, I have started dressing up for work: A flowy summer dress, a black blazer over fresh-pressed jeans. Who knows... maybe I'll even learn how to wear makeup soon!

I am so excited to invest in my creative, artistic side again. Recently, an old friend of mine moved out of the Pacific Northwest. He confided in me that he missed it a lot, so I decided to put together a PNW care package for him. Inside, he will receive coffee beans from a local coffee shop, a coffee mug, a book from Powell's, two mixed CD's with hand-drawn CD covers (every track is a band/musician from Oregon or Washington), Portland's infamous hot sauce, etc. I can't wait until he receives it! I'll be sure to post photos when it is complete. Here are the CD covers though: