Recovery: Not For the Weak of Heart

Last weekend was my test weekend. I went out for a long run, prepared to suffer. I started with a 5-mile warm-up and it felt awesome. In fact, it felt so good that when I decided to bump it up for the test portion, I took my pace down an entire minute... and it felt magical. If you are an athlete though, you know what happens when you try to take a full minute off of your goal pace... you know what happens when you even try to take 10 seconds off your goal pace!

Ash, you need to slow down.

I know, legs, but you feel so good! I could go for hours at this pace!

No, you can't. In fact, I'll bet you can't even finish thirty minutes at this pace.

I'll take that bet, legs! And I'll raise you! I used to hold this pace with no effort whatsoever!

Yeah, you used to have a tendon, then that car hit you.

Whatever. I got this. I am Iron Man.

Nope... I am not Iron Man. Less than 20 minutes into the test, my body started to give up on me. I swung my arms like a mad woman and urged my hips forward. Go, go, go! But my legs didn't go. In fact, they abruptly slowed and almost stopped completely.

I sucked down a Gu Roctane like there was no tomorrow. Pure pineapple goodness overwhelmed my taste buds. My eyes rolled back in sheer ecstasy and I was fairly confident I had never felt so good in my life, despite having just failed miserably.

The next morning, I cut my bike ride short. My swim test was a full two minutes slower than my base 2 test. I shook it off and figured I was just off that weekend.

But things didn't get better over the week.

I taught six Pilates classes, a yoga class and some functional strength and ski conditioning classes. That on top of my daily running, cycling and swimming. This was my first week in Build 1, but my paces were slower than my base week and my body felt fatigued.

NO! I will not be a Christmas Star!

Instead of letting my body rest, I pushed through the fatigue like an elephant pushing through tar. On Thursday, my body was dead, but I ran anyway. I jogged out to Matt's grave and took him a rock I had found at the beach with my friend Luke. Then I set a QOM on Strava and I was stoked. Unfortunately, later that night during Taco Thursday with Rebecca, I could feel my right hip seizing up.

The hip caused me to cut my ride short on Friday morning. On Saturday, the weather was perfect. I could not wait to go out for a long, beautiful run. Starting with a REALLY easy jog, I headed down the road. Only minutes later, I was trying hard not to succumb to walking. But it was over. My run was not going to happen. My hip was so tight that I could barely put weight on it. Limping home, I made cornbread and spent the rest of the evening watching the Olympics and eating cornbread (3/4's of the pan by myself) and chili with Finley.

Honestly, I felt like a failure, but deep inside, I knew I had made the right decision. As an athlete, it is so hard to believe that it is okay to rest, but it is. I would rather miss an entire weekend of CRUCIAL workouts than miss my actual race. So for now I am swallowing my pride, refusing to check my Strava stats and sitting on an ice pack until I can go see Jason and have him fix me.

Look at me! I've become a smart athlete! Maybe a losing athlete, but at least I'm smart... I hope.

Love: It's More Than Just a Game For Two

On February 14, 2011, my best effing friend Dana and I had an "I Hate Valentines Day" party. We didn't really hate Valentines day, of course, but my boyfriend and I had just broken up because I found out he was cheating on me and Dana was being pursued by a creepy co-worker who loved feet, so we decided why the H-E-double-hockey-sticks not?

We (I) invited everyone we (I) know. (Dana is not a social butterfly, so I did the inviting and she did the decorations, which I still have hanging on my wall). No one wanted to come to our party because, apparently, nobody hates Valentines Day. We convinced people it would be really great and we would have lots of music, cookies and pure awesomeness.
 

A bunch of friends finally agreed to at least stop by and I was stoked, but as the hours leading up to the party became fewer and fewer, so did the number of people on our party list. Eva and Mavel stopped by briefly before they went out on their real Valentines dates, but when they left, Dana and I said, "Screw it," and drove out to Isla Vista for Woodstocks pizza and beer.

That was three years ago and it still sticks out as one of my favorite Valentines days because I was with my best friend doing best friend things.

Love doesn't always have to be romantic.

I was looking through old photos and letters today and I was blown away by how blessed I am. Throughout my 26 adventurous years, I have made some of the most amazing friends. I have friends who draw me pictures of us as stick figures, friends who send me quotes about determination and tell me how much I inspire them, a mom and dad who constantly remind me how proud they are of me, a sister with whom I share too many inside jokes to remember and friends who write letters that take up 4 or more cards. Some of the letters were from clients and people who took my fitness classes who just saw something that reminded them of me. By the time I had skimmed the top of the box of letters, I felt overwhelmed by their love for me.

Valentines Day is not a bad day, y'all! Many people dread this day. My male co-workers worry about what to really get their wife after she said, "This year, let's not do gifts," but they know she will be upset if he comes home empty-handed.

This year, on February 14, 2014, I challenge you to show someone unexpected that you love them. Don't just focus on those near to you (ie your husband/wife, kids, best friend, significant other, etc), tell your yoga instructor how grateful you are for the way your flexibility has improved, tell your barista you appreciate how he always makes your drink just right, tell your boss you enjoy the work environment he encourages at the office, etc. Go out of your way to make someone else feel loved this Friday. I guarantee, you will gain a pep in your step and a smile on your face.

Oh hey, thanks for reading my blog! I appreciate you taking time out of your day to do that! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, ALL Y'ALL!!

Redemption

Four feet of snow and nine hours of shoveling had forced me inside for my Sunday morning workout. Thirty-seven minutes down, eighty-three to go. I was sitting on a stationary bike, Nirvana playing through my cell phone speakers when the man walked in. He was older and more mature than I was. I shot him a friendly smile and a nod then reached for my cell phone to turn off the music.

He started to say something. I genuinely thought he was going to be a gentleman and insist that I keep my music playing.

"Oh, it's okay," I assured him. "I just had it on to keep me entertained."

"That's nice," he said. "But I can't have this window open."

I looked over at the window. There was nothing but white snow on the other side of it and that snow had created the climate of a refrigerator inside the cycling studio. That climate is what was going to get me through the next hour and a half.

"Oh, oh yeah," I exclaimed. "You can shut it." Internally, I was grumbling to myself. What a jerk! He thinks he can just storm in here and change the entire atmosphere. No music, no cooling system. Who does he think he is?

He took a seat on the bike behind my right shoulder and I could hear him as he began panting through the workout. As the intensity of his ride grew more demanding, he began to sound like a heavily-sleeping dragon. The noise was a deep, guttural growl and I could not help but chuckle. I got off my bike and grabbed my headphones and some Gu Chomps.

"I hope I'm not scaring you off," he said. It sounded like he hoped he was so he could have the studio to himself.

"Nope," I smiled at him. "Just grabbing a couple of things."

Heart Shaped Box beat through my headphones as I tossed a chomp on the left side of my mouth. It was stale. I had gotten it back in September and had yet to use it. I could hear myself slurp up the juices every time I bit down into the ball of instant energy. I guess two can play the annoying noises game, I thought to myself.

An hour passed and I noticed the spin of feet on the bike behind me come to a stop. The gentleman took his time getting off the bike. Hooray! He's done! I'll bet you anything he doesn't reopen the window for me. I was bitter and internally, I was not being a very nice person.

"Do you want me to turn on the fans for you?" He asked, kindly. I was taken aback. This was something I had not expected. Suddenly, I felt guilty for being so rude to him, even if it was only in my head.

A little less than an hour later, I was in the pool, focusing on some new stroke improvements I picked up recently. As I approached the end of my lane, I noticed a woman staring at me. I paused and looked at her, expecting her to ask to split the lane. She did not say anything, just stood and smiled. Alright then, back to my workout. As I finished the lap, I noticed a body swim past me. So I guess she did decide to split my lane. 

I stayed tight in my lane, hugging the lane line and staying out of her way. I was in the middle of a 1500 yard stretch when she bumped into me hard. Ready to stop mid-stroke and stand up to wag my fist at her, I held back and finished the distance. Internally, I was bitter. She kept swimming in the middle of the lane, forcing me into the lane line to avoid contact. I felt squished. I really hope she finishes her swim soon. 

When I finished my swim and came to the shallow end to stretch, she walked over to me and I gave her a friendly smile and said hello.

"I'm sorry I bumped into you earlier," she apologized.

Shoot. I was wrong about this one, too. I exclaimed that it was okay, things happen. I even told her about how the last gym I worked at would have 2-4 people sharing a lane at all times, so this wasn't so bad. But I felt poorly for judging her and for being so upset with her for bumping into me.

Moral of the story: Never judge a person by their initial behavior. They may come back to redeem themselves.

Training in the Cold with a Cold

"Oh man," Rebecca exclaimed as she drove through the snow. "Dead deer in the middle of the road."

"What? Where?" I asked. 

I am so unobservant. Wedding rings? I don't notice them. You lost a tooth? You're going to have to tell me, because I won't see it on my own. 

And this is how I was reminded that I could not pursue my dream of being a secret agent or a girl detective... those two jobs require a keen sense of awareness, which is something I definitely do not have. 

So back to the other dream/reality: Being an athlete.

Two weeks ago, I woke up with no voice. It had been a stressful week. I lost my job, crashed my car onto the side of a cliff, was home alone and my best friend was in Thailand. All of that toppled on 14-20 hour training weeks and I was done.

"Take a rest day," Josh told me while we chatted on the phone.

"Hahahaha. Right. Maybe I won't swim in the morning," I teased.

"Well, you hate swimming, so that doesn't count," he reminded me. 

"Swimming is bad for you anyway," Jason told me the next day. He hates swimming, too, obviously.

Knowing that I was going to sleep in and not swim the next day, I decided to start a movie... at 11:23 in the evening. Bad call. The next day I woke up groggy and feeling even worse. 

"Hey, guess what," I texted Josh. "I did not work out today."

"Did you break your leg?" Came his reply. 

Then I did something foolish. I went for a long bike ride in 20 degree weather. That probably was not the worst decision, it was more the fashion choice I made. Since I just moved to Oregon recently, I have not purchased cold weather cycle gear. I wore shorts. After only 3 minutes on the bike, I could not feel my fingers. They had frozen over and could not move. I debated turning back, but I was determined to get out on The Thunder. By the time an hour had passed, my legs were wind burned and I had frostbite on my fingers and toes. 

My body looked like an immobile stick figure when I got off the bike. Walking like a mummy to the tub, I turned on the warm water and waited for the tub to fill. Then I stuck my toe in. At first, there was no feeling then...

Ow! Ow ow ow!

Tears streamed down my face as I jumped out of the tub. Agonized yells escaped from my mouth. I grabbed at my toes, but nothing helped. I sobbed as I looked at the tub I knew would be the only remedy, the most painful remedy I could think of at that moment. No one was home. No one could help me. It was just me and the tub. I tried again and forced my feet to stay planted, then slowly sank my body into the water. It was one of the most terrible feelings on earth. Remember when you were a wild teenager and thought getting out of the hot tub, rolling in the snow then jumping back in was a great idea? It wasn't a great idea. It was stupid. Take that stupid idea and multiply it by 4. That was the decision I made. 

Over it!

But I had a fantastic training week despite the cold weather. I kicked butt on the Strava leader boards and hit all my goals on my swim sessions. 

Dear Summer, 

Please come soon. 

Love,

The cold girl with the cold