Potty Mouth

On occasion, my dad likes to remind me how much school debt I have. He will say things such as, "Ashlee, you have to do something with your career because it was such-and-such amount. Don't you wish you had gone to Oregon State or UofO?" To that I quickly respond, "Hells to the no!" I had to most incredible college experience and I wouldn't trade those memories for any amount of money.

My first year of school, I lived in a section with all the transfer students. Out of all the girls in my section, I was the only one under 20-years-of-age... the baby. Dana and I shared the room on the right. You could never see the floor in that room and there were always stacks of half-filled coffee cups decorating the counter space. Across the hallway, Tiffany and Nicole set up camp. They had the largest room, the room where everyone went to relax on the couch. Nicole left halfway through the year and Elise moved in. In the middle of our rooms was Lara's space. Her original roommate moved out before school even officially started, but Cosy moved in a couple of weeks later.

We had an amazing RA who liked to do fun art projects for us. One of these art projects was our "Potty Mouth", a little notebook and pen hanging from a string in the toilet stall. Inside, she wrote:

Greetings-
This notebook is for the enjoyment of anyone who visits or frequently spends time in this stall.
You are free to draw pictures, recite poetry, quote sonnets, ask mind boggling questions or talk about pointless things. Use it for whatever you wish... except wiping!
Happy pottying-
Kiley

Despite the infinite amount of germs that must have plagued that booklet, we wrote in that thing like we were being paid $100 per word.

By Christmas break, we had filled the notebook and its cover. One day, I walked into the stall and noticed something was missing... the string was barren. I ran out of the bathroom before attending to business.

"Where is the book," I hollered. The girls ran out of their rooms. No one knew where the book was. Accusations began to fly. Soon, the book was replaced by my fascination with The Real World and an idea to start our own Real World: Clark Edition. As wonderful as our videos were, nothing could ever replace our Potty Mouth.

Fast forward to the end of our first year. As we all packed our belongings and said tearful goodbyes, Cosy gave us each a present. She had taken the Potty Mouth and copied each page, cut it out and created individualized Potty Mouths for each of us. It was one of the best gifts I have ever been given. It was such a great gift, in fact, that when I stumbled upon it this evening, I knew it was too good not to share. Most of it you really won't understand unless you were in our suite or one of our close friends... sorry about that!

Here are some of the best photos and comments from the 2007 bestseller Potty Mouth:
 

Ashlee:

Artwork by Ashlee

This is what we should be for Halloween, yeah?

Tiffany:
There are five of us ;)
Nicole:
    Nicole-Baby Spice
    Tiff-Scary Spice
    Ash-Ginger Spice
    Dana-Posh Spice
    Lara-Scary Spice
Tiffany:
Of course you would put me as Scary Spice. Whatever!
Lara:
Okay, we're not seriously going to be the Spice Girls, are we? I'm not sure how I feel about that ;)
Dana:
You feel great :)
Lara:
Just like Tony the Tiger!

Artwork by Tiffany

Cosy:
If you have a lot of homework, clap your hands.
If you never get to sleep, clap your hands
If you're tired and you know it
Then your bags (under your eyes) will surely show it.
If you're tired and you know it C.H.P.
Ashlee:
Clap Clap!
Cosy:
So it's 2:20AM and I am still up. CLAP CLAP CLAP 
3:45am  CLAP CLAP
Yes! 5:00am I am going to bed.

Tiffany: It's time to drop the Cosby's off at the pool.
Dana: Does that mean you're pooping?
Tiffany: Yes.
Dana: Let's write a story. Add a word of phrase to the story:
Many years ago, in a land where the streets were trampolines and pirate booty fell from the sky, there lived a boy penguin who wanted a rubix cube. Benny the penguin tried to think of ways he could get the magical square when...up walked a blind old beggar with a cane. Or so Benny thought the man was blind. Little did he know... it was a fairy woman in disguise. Benny was astonished and asked for three wishes. The fairy said he could get them if...  He dropped the Cosby's off at the pool... and that's how Benny was potty-trained.
Dana:This is definitely the next top selling children's story!

Nicole: HAPPY FINALS WEEK! :)
Ashlee: Happy?
Dana: 4 more days! (Some of you lucky ducks only have 3)
Lara: I can feel the end. So close I can almost taste it.
Cosy: That taste is the chips we have been eating in the wee hours of the morning.

Dorm Christmas Decoration Ideas

Ashlee: Phil asked for my #.
Cosy: Whatever. He gave me his #: 857-5309

Ashlee: I got a nice bit of red on my undies to help me celebrate Valentines
Dana: OH MY GOSH! That is the funniest thing we heard all day!
Elise: I'm so glad you shared that with us. That is great/big news!

Dana: So I'm peeing and the cleaning lady walked in. Awkward.
 

Tiff, Elise, Cosy, Lara, me, Dana

And we will never forget Nicole!