You Are What You Love, Not Who Loves You

Despite the fact that listening to Fall Out Boy sometimes renders me the appearance of a 15-year-old pop punk/ pop rock/ emo loving girl, I cannot deny the fact that they make my life epicly fantastic. Their new CD, Save Rock and Roll, though not my favorite of their CDs, is still hauntingly beautiful and irresistibly catchy.

In the title track of their April album, Patrick Stump melodically reminds the listener: "You are what you love, not who loves you."

Let me repeat that until it sticks.

You are what you love, not who loves you.
You are what you love, not who loves you.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE, NOT WHO LOVES YOU.

I went through a season in my life right after high school where four out of my five best friends got married; most of these girls were only 19-years-of-age. Naturally, when my boyfriend of less than a year proposed we do the same thing, I eagerly accepted the idea. I was almost nineteen; I was getting old! And we were such a happy little music-loving, goofy, outdoorsy couple with tremendous ambitions and drive.

Then one day I realized that our paths were taking different directions. I was determined to chase what I loved, which was the pursuit of knowledge and adventure. Though he was willing to give up his dreams to help me achieve mine, I couldn't ask my boyfriend to be anyone less than who he was. He was an incredibly talented musician and the Oregon artist-scene needed him more than I did. Asking him to forsake his calling to follow me to Santa Barbara would have been breaking the 6th commandment: Thou shalt not kill. I would have murdered his musical production and graphic design dreams.

As I dated throughout college and after, I noticed that I was picking up hobbies and passions from my different relationships. I began to use my newly discovered interests to become a more talented, knowledgeable and capable woman. I could have chosen one activity to focus my energy on, but what fun is that? Sure, I could be the best female surfer on this side of the Americas by choosing to live, eat and breath surfing, but then I would not be here writing a blog about swimming, biking and running. I could have decided that because Derek loved baseball, baseball would be the one and only thing I would pursue. If that was the case, I would not have been true to myself; Instead, I would have been who loved me, not what I love.

What is it that I love? What makes me happy (other than playing the air guitar to FOB, of course)? Teaching, wearing flannel, being with my family, incredible friendships, trail running... all of these things bring me immense happiness.

I have seen too many people give up their essences and the characteristics that define them in order to be the perfect man or woman for the individual they are dating. No, no, no and again I say NO! Knock it off! You may think that boy you are swooning over in math class won't notice you unless you are wearing hipster glasses like Taylor Swift and carrying a TI-89. Maybe the cute girl you met at the track last Tuesday morning will notice you if you improve your 5k times or you buy those flashy neon Nike Free's. But if you hate math or if running brings you more blisters than it does feelings of satisfaction, forget about it. Pursue the things you love and people who love the same thing will naturally come into your life.

Be who you love.

Yes, that does mean I will be starting a Fall Out Boy tribute band where I teach my family and friends the band's lyrics while wearing flannel and running across the Pacific Crest Trail. Hey, if you love it, be it!