The Story of Carpe Diem

A week ago, I walked into work without a care in the world. My weekend had gone by flawlessly with some snowshoeing, a great run and time spent with my parents.

Before the end of the work day, my boss called me into his office. He told me sales were down and they couldn't afford to keep me on at work anymore so they were going to let me go at the end of the month.

I could feel my face drop. I FAILED.

My boss tried to reassure me that it really was just money issues. I nodded my head and said I had to go because I was late for physical therapy.

As I walked to my car, I called my sister and sobbed for a good thirty seconds, then I hung up the phone, dried my eyes and drove over to physical therapy, holding back the tears and frustration for another hour.

I just could not comprehend the fact that I had lost my job. Growing up, I would hear about my friends' parents losing their jobs and I would think, "Obviously, they weren't doing something right at work." So when I found out I would only have a job for a couple more weeks, I felt ashamed. What had I done wrong? Every task that was given to me, I completed. I answered phone calls with a smile on my face and dealt with irritating customers patiently. How could I be losing my income? What had I done to fail so miserably?

A week has passed and I have had time to talk to my boss and the owner of the company. My thoughts have been verbalized and digested. I was told I did not fail, but honestly, even if I did fail, I know why. I was not passionate about my job. Every day, I did what was required of me then left it all at work and focused on other things outside of the office. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but a person who loves their job lives their job full-time. When I was an athletic trainer and fitness instructor, my work was where I focused the culmination of my efforts. I loved my job and would work overtime; my work ALWAYS came home with me.

Here is where the problem lies: I have been writing my story every day for the past 26 years. Sometimes it is a story of adventure, love, thrill and hope. Other times, it is a story of activities of daily life that no one really wants to read. If I want a story I am proud of, I should not be wasting my time pursuing a direction that ultimately I do not want.

So it is time to write my story. What is my story going to be? Is there going to be another country involved? Will my family and my best friend be the predominant supporting characters or will I introduce a new setting and cast? This is where I will be focusing my attention for the next couple of weeks until I have a solid outline. I'm thinking maybe Alias or Nancy Drew related themes; that sounds pretty epic. My story doesn't have to be about me though. That is what is so cool about being able to open up a brand new journal and lay fresh ink to it. I am at a phase in my life where nothing (but school loans, of course) are tying me down. This is the time to be selfless and go serve a less fortunate population. Maybe I will help save the sea turtles in Hawaii!

I am excited for this new chapter of my story. Truly, this will be a great adventure. I am in charge of my story, it is just deciding what I will be most proud for others to read.

What about you? Are you writing the story you want other people to read and find inspiration? If not, start redirecting that story. Life is what you make it, so CARPE DIEM.

Oh, Baby, You're A Classic

In the winter of 2007, I was living in a small town called Estes Park, Colorado. My boyfriend at the time came out to visit me and arrived the day before the new Fall Out Boy album Infinity on High arrived in stores. Zach (the boyfriend) was an avid musician who was inspired predominately by the works of Fall Out Boy. He and I were listening to FOB even before My Heart Will Always Be The B-Side To My Tongue came out in 2004. We purchased the CD at a Starbucks of all places and listened to it on repeat for the next 6 days. And when I say we listened to it on repeat, I mean we listened to it on repeat on a road trip that lasted 48 hours. Fall Out Boy for 48 hours. Put that CD on seven years later and I still know EVERY. SINGLE. LYRIC. Thank God for that. Best album ever!

I will always be a Fall Out Boy fan. They have gotten a little strange on their latest album. No longer do they struggle to fill the room at a small local venue; these days, tickets to their shows are hundreds of dollars. Believe me, I know: I have been researching tickets for the past three years. I remember when I saw them with 26 other people in the room; it felt more like a house party than a show.

I digress...

A week ago, I asked my friends to suggest names for my new bike, a Felt DA4. Great names were suggested: Tron, My Man, White Lightning, The Chain Smoker and Polar Vortex, to name a few. Well the tallies are in and the winner is... none of the above.

Being a StarWars fan, DeathStar was a consideration, but after my accident, my mom nixed that name.

I seriously considered naming him "My A Game" because I could say things like "Yeah, I'm going to Wildflower this year. And I'm bringing My A Game!" My name is Ashlee... starts with an A... clever, right?

Making myself appear incredibly dorky by saying shiz like that just sounded awesome, so I decided to take that route, but "My A Game" was just too much of a mouthful.

Why in the world did she include that Fall Out Boy story when obviously it has nothing to do with this blog post?!

Oh, right! Fall Out Boy! Thanks for reminding me.

The lovely boys of FOB have a song called She's My Winona. The chorus goes:

Daddy said you gotta show the world the thunder
Whoa the thunder

Thunder. There is a mighty power behind a bolt of thunder...Plus, if I name my bike "The Thunder", he already has a theme song. SOLD.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to The Thunder (Please play theme song while looking at my new boyfriend with ooo's and aww's):

The Curse of the French Fries

My cycle coach claims he can tell what I ate for breakfast based on what my perspiration smells like on the bike. The thought has always disgusted me, but I have told myself that it can't be true; no one can smell the good or poor decisions I made during my last meal based on my sweat.

Well, I stand corrected.

For the past three days, I have been craving french fries, which is strange, because I hate potatoes and anything made out of them: Tater tots, french fries, baked potatoes, potato chips, potato pancakes, etc. Two nights in a row, I drove past burger places, just staring, debating if I should pull over and get a late night snack. I was a good girl though. There was always a reason not to stop: I don't need the calories, my cash is running low, I would have to stop and wait, adding an extra 10 or so minutes to my commute... you get the idea.

Then I received a text from one of my YoungLife girls, asking if I could meet her at a burger joint to chat. I arrived to find her and another one of my girls munching on french fries. "You can have some," they told me. Listening to the angel on my shoulder, I declined. When they left the restaurant though, I still had half an hour before my next commitment. I gave in. I ordered a small side of fries with ranch dressing.

Even as I dipped the fries and shoved them in my mouth, I felt disgusted with myself. I was doing this in secret; I was ashamed of my decision. Isn't that a sign that I should not have been committing this act of gluttony?

I arrived at my next commitment: Training some volleyball players at the gym. As we jumped up and down on Bosu balls, balanced on Swiss medicine balls and lifted weights, I could smell the salt and fried seasoning oozing through my pores. Ick! I could not believe how strong the stench was!

Today, on the bike trainer, I noticed the scent of citrus from the orange I devoured before class. It smelt so much better than the fried potatoes dipped in ranch from the evening prior.

Moral of the story: You are what you eat.

Wrestling Gorillas

Recently, someone told me that working out is like wrestling a gorilla; you don’t stop when you’re tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired. As a competitive triathlete, I follow this full-heartedly. Whether I am swimming, biking, running or surfing, I aim to give every workout everything I have to offer that day.

Growing up, I was involved in almost every sport my high school had to offer. During my first year of college, I realized my zeal for running and hiking. In the summer of 2009, I traveled around Europe, where I hiked the Swiss Alps, cycled around The Netherlands and visited the Olympic Training Centers in Germany and Italy. I also studied the European approach to exercise and athletic conditioning. Since then, I have worked to incorporate both European and American approaches to my classes and workouts. I enjoy learning and am constantly taking new classes and trying new activities in order to make my classes more fun and invigorating.

Four years ago, I discovered a Pilates teacher in Santa Barbara who had such passion for movement that I felt inspired to learn more. Through taking classes taught by other instructors, reading books on functional strength training and within my own training, I realized the importance of a strong core and all of its stabilizing muscles. With my knowledge, I developed an approach to core maintenance based on yoga, Pilates and functional strength training principles. I call this approach Optimal Core Performance.

Optimal Core Performance will challenge your strength and flexibility in ways you did not think possible. This 60-minute class is designed to develop and strengthen the core and stabilizing muscles that an athlete needs in order to support efficient biomechanics while helping to prevent injuries. In this class, you will boost your metabolism, tone major muscle groups, lose weight and trim inches from your body while improving your core strength. You will not only see, but also feel the difference in your flexibility, strength, body shape and energy levels.

I love to smile and I have a passion for what I do, but don’t be fooled by my bubbly personality; my number one goal is to give you the workout you came in for and have you leave feeling accomplished and tired. I believe that you have to push yourself to your own limits. My goal is to design a workout that will give you killer results, but you have to be motivated to stick with it and find your gorilla. Once you find him, don’t stop until he gives up.

le Baiser Parfait

I believe everyone should have a Parisian love interest at some point in their lifetime.

Mine was named Ben. He was incredibly tall, chiseled and philosophical. We met when he attended one of my Pilates classes with our mutual friend Patrick. After the class, he asked if I would like to come over for coffee and brunch.

After eating pancakes with two Frenchmen, a Russian, and a few other foreigners, I was hooked. This man was so fun to be around. He made me laugh, had a great group of friends, was incredibly intelligent and loved rock climbing.

We spent the next couple of months meeting up for coffee and discussing our passion for adventure. I found myself hanging on his every word, each filled with wisdom and zeal. My only hesitancy was his wild heart. After several discussions, I realized any sort of relationship with him would be short lived.

That did not stop me from being attracted to his rugged dreadlocks and his strong jawline. Every aspect about him screamed man, yet he had this poetic softness about him.

One night, I heard rocks softly tapping at my second story window. I walked downstairs and met him in the street. He was leaving for Paris the next day and needed to see me before he left. Standing under the stars in my lace nightgown, Ben put his hand on the back of my scalp and pulled me in for a kiss.

It was perfect. Everything about it was. The night breeze on my smooth legs, the strong fingers of his hand in my hair, the gentle eagerness of his soothing kiss... yup... that was the best kiss ever. It was the kiss you see in movies that you think could never be real because it is too gosh darn perfect.

If you haven't kissed a Parisian yet, I highly recommend it.

Obviously, that is not Ben...

No Longer a Vegan

I remember the first time I met a real-life vegan. She was soft. I had envisioned most vegans as heartthrob yogis with bodies of goddesses. This woman was the exact opposite of the picture I had painted.

Photo courtesy of Purushapeople.com

In fact, when I became a vegan in Wyoming, I put on weight. I was eating less, yet my body was storing fat. I never associated the two as being connected until I reintroduced meat into my diet a couple of months ago and almost immediately lost 4 pounds. Hmmmm...

Veganism for me was almost a way of saying, "Hey, look at me. I'm better than you because I have self-control and don't eat meat." But that was stupid.

Last night, Amanda and I went out for Pho. "What is it you normally get?" I asked her.

"P6. Why?"

I ordered the P6.

"That has beef in it, Ash," she informed me.

She was excited to hear I was a carnivore once again.

Here is the thing: We are all made differently. Some of us have bodies that perform best on an all vegetable, fruit and nut diet. Others function better when they have a little meat in their diet.

I highly recommend finding out what food best fuels your body. I can guarantee it does not include cheetos, oreos and soda pop, but never say never to lean meats, nuts or fish! Unless, of course, you have an allergy!

Eat up, run hard and give your body what it needs: R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Resolutions for a Bad Ass

Bad Ass. Yup, I used a bad word. I know, I know. Not cool. But you know what? The thing for which I was most proud of myself in 2013 was my Bad Ass attitude. With determination, I went from competitive athlete to immobilized raisin to overweight dreamer to Bad Ass Mother Runner all in one year. Okay, not mother because I don't have kids (obviously, running and I have decided not to take that step in our relationship yet), but still, I fought hard for what I wanted. With the help of my friends, family, a skilled orthopedic technician and some fantastic physical therapists (thanks Jason, Rich and Greg!), I am in the pool, on the trails and researching new bikes.

The fact that my ability to train was taken away from me has made me even more appreciative of what my body is capable of accomplishing. It is really cool to hear my dad tell me he was happy to see my running on the road. He is proud of me and I, in return, am proud of myself. My sister informed me that when my ability to run was taken away from me, she decided she would start running for me. She now loves running and it is all because of my passion and dedication. I know what I want and I am going to get it no matter the cost!

2014 brings the promise of another delightful year. We all know I have a 26 things to do while I'm 26, but I added a 2014 Resolutions Bucketlist to the mix. My goal is to accomplish something different every month of 2014. I have to do each resolution every day of the month. Below, you will find my new list, along with the progress on my 26 while 26 list.

Enjoy, peeps! Peace, Spice, Running and Almond Cappaccinos to you and those you hold dear!

January- Paleo

February- No sugar

March- Read the book of Psalms

April- Flossing

May- Random acts of kindness

June- Stretching

July- Being immersed in the Word

August- Letter writing

September- Camping

October- Yoga

November- Pinterest projects (right in time for the holidays!)

December- Home-cooked meals

26 While 26:

1. I've sent 4 letters/care packages.
2. I've done my 26 plus miles every week- easy cheesy!
3. I've been slacking on spending 26 minutes with God every day. Fail... need to restart.
4. I have yet to start taking my vitamins :/
5. No money towards loans. Whoopsidaisies!
6. I've gotten rid of sixteen items.
7. Two random acts of kindness. Hmmmm
8. No new Bible verses memorized. Eek!
9. Two new phrases in Thai!
10. I have yet to write my book, but I do have a title!
11. I've done my push-ups. No problem!
12. I haven't even attempted a 26-minute wall-sit!
13. So far I have run on 19 new trails in 3.5 months... that's not too shabby!
14. I've gone on 9 one-on-one friend dates.
15. I have not taken any yoga classes.
16. I have only tried two new recipes.
17. I have tried 5 new things.
18. I have given 38 epic highfives to 38 different people. 
19. I did a plank once this month and it lasted for 1:26 so I have some work to do.
20. I need to restart the 30-day yoga challenge.
21. I have yet to run a marathon this month. Gosh! What is wrong with me? ;)
22. I am working on my third art project/painting out of 26. I have a long way to go...
23. I have made 5 meals for my parents.
24. Surprisingly, I have only burned three CDs! Weird... I thought that would be the easiest!
25. I have lost 4.4 pounds. 
26. I have read four new books so far. Currently, I am reading one my grandmother sent me. Suggestions are always welcome!