As I read her words, I couldn't help but empathize with her. A lump formed in my throat and my heart was filled with sorrow. For those of you who don't know Kara, she is an Olympian long-distance runner. She is one of the runners I respect immensely because she has sheer determination. This determination is shown in the way she writes, the way she preps for race season and the way she dominates.
I know what Kara is going through. I know what it is like to give everything you have to accomplish a goal then have it come back and bite you in the (synonym for donkey). You pray to God wondering why He would allow such a thing to happen. You cry yourself to sleep some nights. You try to push a workout you know you shouldn't do. At the end, you are left icing and elevating while you watch your dreams grow little wings and take off with the speed of a cheetah on rocket-powered rollerblades. How did that darn cheetah get ahold of your rocket-powered rollerblades?
Last year, I wrote a blog about getting married to running (see blog here: http://ashleetrisharder.blogspot.com/2012/09/wedding-invitation.html). I spoke about my greatest running role model, Drea. Thinking I was complimenting her in the blog, I told her she should check it out. She sought me out at work and sat me down, expressing her frustration with the words I had written."You don't realize how hard it is to be married to running," she told me. She was completely right. I didn't. I still don't. In response to my blog, she wrote:
Well if you marry the running that I married (16 years ago) then you will get up every day at 5am to get it done, you'll get your heartbroken over injuries and you'll get excited over success, you'll be doubted, you'll be tested, you'll be punished physically and mentally, and you'll find joy. You'll do it everyday- because you love it- you thrive in it. You'll find you don't get out what you put in. You'll find luck exists and success is personal. You won't get thanked by running- you'll do all the thanking. That the thing with passions- if it's important to you, you will find the time and energy to do it. Where there's a will, there is a way. That doesn't mean you get YOUR WAY. And people looking in on your relationship will always think the grass looks green. Well maybe it is- but that's because I WATERED IT. Get over the rich husband comments girls- it's sharp rocks on the trail.
Running is hard. You may devote yourself to running, but running may not devote itself to you. Sometimes, God has different plans. I had made running an idol. Just like I make fitness and being in shape idols, I idolized the idea of being one of the best runners in my town. Respected, admired, adored... My dream left me before I could even start chasing it. Now I can't even walk without my foot swelling up and sharp pain shooting up my peronial tendon. It freaking sucks.
So my heart goes out to runners like Kara, like Drea (http://www.twomotivate.com/), like Jesse Thomas (who recently had surgery on his foot) (http://leapdaysports.com/) and like my friend Robyn (http://runprettyrunfast.com/). All of these runners (not to mention the thousands of other devoted athletes) who have experienced the heartache of getting the carpet (or the track, in this case) pulled out from under them. Keep pushing for your dreams. When you have to make new goals, don't give up. In the words of the oh-so-wise Vanilla Ice, Anything less than the best is a felony. Keep pushing. Keep aiming. Keep missing. Keep growing. Keep striving. Keep on keepin' on.
