Remember When You Used To Be Skinny?

Have I earned the right to vent? Probably not, but for the first time in two weeks, I need to be sad for myself. Here's how this is going to go down: I plan to wallow is sadness for about 2 minutes, then I will count all of my blessings. Ready? Okay (claps her hands together like a cheerleader).

After swimming 2,000 meters on the Vasa swim, I decided to go stand on the scale. Weighing in every week is never a fun thing for me. I don't dread the numbers, but that number never seems to change, no matter how many miles I run, hills I bike or burpees I perform. Well, that number changed today. It changed by 7.8 pounds... 7.8 pounds ADDED to my original weight. WHAT?! But how?! I was juicing all of last week with my mom and Genna! I was healthy! I've been good, I really have! I was under my calorie goal every day last week. How is this logical?

I wrote my numbers on the board and looked at the differences between calories expended and calories in from the last two weeks. I definitely had been eating less (about 2,500 calories less), but I also had burned less (try 7,000 calories less). Despair. My greatest fear in life is that I will get fat. No joke. Even moreso than my fears of driving and of ice. It is something I dwell on daily. So I am just soaking in self-pity right now.

But let's turn that frown upside down, shall we?

My boss and his wife made me dinner because they knew I couldn't walk. My friend Chad and his wife made me a meal the next night. My mom flew all the way down to spend the week with me; that was a huge blessing. Caroline and Roger lent me their car. Deb and her husband lent me theirs. My lovely friends offered to bring me things if I needed them. Kim took out half of my stitches yesterday Clare brought me trail mix because she knew I trained with it. Torrey came down for breakfast on Saturday. Multiple people have offered me rides because they know I have no vehicle. My tri friends have checked in on me consistently for the past two weeks. Overall, I have been overwhelmed with the caring community I am surrounded by. It has been a huge reminder to me that this is where I want to be. I am so incredibly blessed.

Plus, I made the best purchase of my life yesterday, so all is right in the world.

My awesome purchase

Cousins!

Love friends who know me

New swimsuit! Something to look forward to!