Sticks And Stones

Without hesitation, Anne Marie dives into the ocean fully dressed in heels and an expensive dress, ignoring the calls of the man behind her. Her love interest, Matt, walks in after her, though you can tell he is not excited to get his suit wet. This is a scene from Blue Crush where surfer Anne Marie finds out she is not certain of anything in her life. During her little temper tantrum, Matt asks her, "What is it that you want?"

"What do I want," she responds, taking in a big gulp of ocean water. Then she goes on to tell him exactly what she wants. She has a purpose, a goal for her life.

One of my all-time favorite photos by one of my all-time favorite people.

 Photo courtesy of Evan Janke.

 

Seven. That is the number of jobs I currently have; actually, it's the number of places I work. If you count job titles, I actually have thirteen jobs. I teach cycle, Pilates, Pure Awesomeness, aqua aerobics, aerobics, balance, etc. I'm a triathlon coach. I have my own clients. I'm an athletic trainer. Yesterday I was talking to one of the members at my gym.

"Well, I gave my two weeks notice," I informed her. "But my boss talked me into staying, so now I have seven jobs."

"What are your jobs?"  I listed them off. "Oh," she seemed shocked. "So you actually have seven jobs." Did you think I was lying to you?

(Side story: I gave my notice at the retirement center. I told them two weeks, but gave them three. Then all of my active older adults were really sad I was leaving. Millie told the class this: "I have been taking this aerobics class for the past 27 years and Ashlee's is by far the best class I have ever taken. She challenges us and keeps us moving the entire time. She believes we can do more than most others do. I will truly miss going to her class." It made me sad. So I decided to keep my job there, but drop it down to once a week. Oh man... what have I done?)

I guess I'll be teaching on this stage awhile longer...

So what do I want? Why do I work seven jobs? Why do I train over 30 hours a week? These jobs started as a way to pay off my school loans. Going to a school that costs $48,000 a year was not the brightest decision I ever made, though it may have been one of the best decisions I have made. I'll be paying off my school loans for years upon years, no matter what job I work, so what makes me stay with these jobs now? And why do I keep taking on new responsibilities? To be honest, I like being crazy. I like a packed schedule. My last semester of college, I had five jobs and seven classes; it killed me. When I have spare time though, I don't really know what to do with myself. So I work instead. I love my jobs and I love the connections/friends I've made through all of my classes. (Yes, I consider the members to be my friends.)

Recently, I've been dating. I really should start an entirely different blog about the dates I've been on because it's quite hysterical, but I figure part of my life has to be private, right? So, I've been going on these dates and it's been really fun, but the more I get to know these new men, the more I miss the simplicity of my old relationship. Training and work are my number one priorities. I have told each date this before we even go out; I like to be up front and honest. There have been a couple of dates I've cancelled on simply because I needed time to train. My training is my life. I hate it at times, but I know it's worth it. Sometimes I wonder if I do it to get a good body so boys will be attracted to me. That can't be it because I have my choice of men and I'm still choosing running instead of them. Next I wonder if I train to be the best. That's not it either because I don't have the natural ability to be number one. Honestly, I think I train so that people think I'm insane. Let me be frank: I love it when people leave my class moaning or comment that they saw me running on the beach and they wish they had the dedication I have. I have chosen the life of a mediocre athlete over having a boyfriend. Is there something inherently wrong with that?

Yesterday, I swam with my ex-boyfriend. It wasn't intentional. I went into the pool to swim and the only lane without two people in it already was the one he was swimming in. So I hopped in. It was just like old times. Since he is a triathlete as well, and has a schedule that is just as crazy as mine, if not even more insane, our dates used to be going for a swim, doing a 50-mile bike ride or running on the track. He was more of a training buddy than a boyfriend, but that was the way I liked it. For the first time in my life, I don't want a boyfriend right now. I want time to grow closer to God, find my athletic limits, discover what I want from life, maybe write a book, learn how to rock climb... I could probably do these things with a boyfriend in my life, but I don't really want the stress that comes along with that.

Oh yes, the drama of boys.
Him: Why haven't you texted me all day?
Me: I'm at work.
Him: What are you doing Friday night?
Me: I work then train until late.
Him: What about afterwards?
Me: I'm sleeping. I work at 6AM.
Him: Oh.  (Five minutes pass) Is this how it's always going to be? Are you always going to choose your bike over me?
Me: Probably. I warned you.

I've had that conversation twice in the past week. Maybe it's a phase of my life. Maybe I haven't met the right guy. I have found that no one can keep up with me, let alone wants to keep up with me.

Fuel for my workouts.

My training schedule:

Monday: Cycle, Swim, Lift weights, Pilates, Cycle some more, Run
Tuesday: Run, Swim, Circuit
Wednesday: Cycle, Run, Cycle some more, Mega-former, Plyometrics
Thursday: Cycle, Run, Swim
Friday: Strength, Cycle, Swim
Saturday: Swim, Run, Pilates
Sunday: Cycle

So... that's my life. It doesn't leave much time for a social life. Maybe I'll make more training buddies. If you want to be my training buddy, let me know!

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