The Disneyland of Yellowstone

My body. Bumps. Sticky, icky bumps. All over my lovely alabaster skin.

Mosquitoes.

Make it stop! On my foot, on my shoulder and... my butt? Really, mosquitoes? One bite wasn't enough?

How did it take me three weeks until I finally got attacked? Well, go into the mosquitoes' territory and they will have no mercy.

Last Wednesday, I climbed into the back of a red pick-up truck. Up front, Anna sat in the driver's seat, Brian sat with the clutch between his legs and Brad took the passenger's seat. Where were they from? What did they study in school? What were their theme songs? Questions were asked, answers were given. We drove. We sang. We laughed. Then we climbed.

Brad being a dinosaur

Doing his dinosaur mating call

Our muddy Brooks

Being a local, Anna took us to her favorite hiking spot: Togwotee Pass. As we stumbled out of the car, I realized, there are only two places where that many people try to fit in a vehicle that tiny and it's still considered normal: Mexico and Wyoming. Across the meadow, up the snow-covered hill, through the mud and over rocks we slid. It was beautiful. It was slippery. It was an adventure.

Brad created a new method for climbing, which we like to call the "bear crawl". It's where you get on all fours and paw your way quickly up the snow. Anna decided to go with the "duck walk", turning her feet into a ballerina's second position and waddling up the slick slope. "I wonder where the term slippery slope came from," Brad remarked. Yeah, I wonder...

We made it to the top though and the view was totally worth the climb. We could see the Tetons, the Absorkas... all the mountain ranges. We could even see Crowheart Butte, where the Crow and the Shoshone tribes had a five-day battle on the Wind River Range. Chief Washakie of the Shoshone won the duel against the chief of the Crow tribe and decided that instead of scalping him, he would take his heart out and place it on the end of his lance. He must have had some looooong fingernails.

On our way back down the pass, we slid like penguins. My Brooks and my Lulus were drenched. Note to self: Never wear your favorite running tights climbing because now they have a giant hole in the knee. Plus, they will not keep you warm when you're sitting in five feet of snow. But hey, at least they will make your butt look good, right? And a woman's worth is measured by the shape of her butt, right?

Brad and I got very lost from our group and ended up traveling half a mile downstream in the wrong direction. We explored and discovered new areas before we found our way back to the truck four hours later. It was a beautiful and welcomed sight.

Anna dropped me back at my car and I drove immediately to Yellowstone still covered in mud. While driving through the park, I saw a car that was driving toward me slow down and come to a stop. Usually, that means there are animals in the road. I slowed down and stopped beside him and a black bear sauntered across the road right in front of my car. No joke! He was at my bumper. My music was playing and my windows were rolled down slightly. He looked up at me as his furry body cruised in front of Sweet Baby Sam. When he got to the other side of the road, he stopped and sat down in the grass. Why oh why was my camera phone full?!?

I texted my dad to tell him there was a bear seven feet from me. Then I lost service. For 15 hours. Sorry Dad!

An hour later, I found my friends at the Madison picnic area. I jumped out of the car and screamed, "Happy birthday, Sophie!!!" We ate dinner and made banana boats for her 23rd birthday, then I went to the campsite while they talked business. I set up Sophie's tent... wait for it... all by myself! Yup, Jeremy would be proud. It was a real tent. It didn't have a yamaka. It was a beautiful thing. Sophie and I stayed up for awhile, giggling in our sleeping bags then we passed out hard.

The next morning, I woke up and drove toward Old Faithful. Two buffalo grazed about 15 feet off of the road, so I pulled over and took a photo from my car. Next, I stopped at Fountain Paint Pots and did the half-mile loop around the mud pots. A group of fat Asian tourists got out of their bus and started walking off the path near the mud pots to get photos. Their tour guide yelled at them, but they didn't listen. They had to get their photos. Guilty pleasure: Fat Asians. Don't ask me why, I just love when I see a fat Asian person because it's such a rare occasion.

I finally made it to Old Faithful at 8AM. I had just missed the eruption, so I did an hour long walk around the other geysers. Finally, Old Faithful went off. I decided to walk around the area some more and try to wait for Tim, Tucker, Brock and Mackenzie to show up, but after 4 hours of walking, I decided to move on. I started a hike at De Lacy Creek, but I felt like there were bears everywhere and I didn't have cell reception. Maybe this would be a better hike to do with a companion. I traveled a mile and a half down the path then decided it would be wise to turn around. I drove to West Thumb and met up with Sophie and Margo's group again for lunch. After lunch, I began driving back toward Old Faithful to meet with Tim's group, but he texted me saying it would be another few hours before they got there. After 10AM, Old Faithful becomes the Disneyland of Yellowstone. There are people everywhere just walking around sipping on fake coffee and buying souvenirs. I hate crowds, so I didn't want to wait there longer than I had to. Instead, I drove to Jackson.

Moose!

Bison

In Jackson, Sophie, Margo, Matt, Brandon, Scott, Colter, Nani, Kaitlin and I watched the gun show in town then had dinner and the Merry Piglets Mexican restaurant. We played in the park for awhile then wandered around town before I drove 45-minutes out of town to get to my bed and breakfast. It's on a beautiful ranch with no cell reception. I slept in a king-size bed and took a long bubble bath. So relaxing after camping and living in a cabin.

My bed- glorious

Happy birthday, Sophie!

Now if only these mosquito bites would quit itching...