The River Why

Life is like a river; it's in constant motion, always ebbing and flowing. Things happen in the river that we will never be able to define. Some things have no known reason or purpose, but they happen anyway and the outcome is never expected.

I'm living in Wyoming. Though I've been here for over a month now, it just hit me. I love Wyoming, but I never expected to find myself here.

I am beginning to discover who I am... or who I would like to be.

In California, I was an athlete. That was my life. My days were simply about looking good, working hard and bragging about my results. Now, my passion for nature that once was has finally returned, yet now it has a stronger force.

Imagine a trout stuck in a fish tank. That's not the way the trout was meant to live. He was created to roam free in the lakes, swimming upstream against the current. His life is difficult, no doubt, for it is never easy to swim against the current; however, he is happy. He is free.

Was I stuck in a tank in Santa Barbara? In a sense, I guess I was. Swimming circles inside of my four walls. Eight walls, you could say, if you make each wall one of my jobs. Please don't misunderstand, my dear readers. I love my work; I could not have chosen a better profession. Although, there is something missing from my life there and I've known it for five years.

Looking back at my life, I can see from the strong male role models in my life where my exhilaration for adventure, the outdoors and life comes from.

My Father

Daddy has always had a zeal for life. He loves the water, whether it's salt or fresh. He was the first person to take me camping and the one who taught me how to kayak, ski, snowboard, surf... you name it. I have so much respect and admiration for that man. He is strong, he is brave and he is honest. My father is everything a man should be. Despite the obstacles he has faced, he has found a way to be connected to nature. Nothing puts a smile on that man's face like being on the river or under the ocean does.

Michael

Oh, the high school and college years. The beat-up red pick-up truck. Shooting guns. Fishing at Three Creeks. Playing in the snow under the stars then cuddling up in his 4-wheeler out in the middle of the woods. There was something about Michael that I couldn't let go of, no matter how hard I tried. For a long time, I couldn't figure it out. Finally, it has hit me. Michael loved being outside. He found joy in fishing, skiing and pulling stupid pranks. When I was with him, I felt like I was five years old, experiencing life for the first time.

Maxwell

My best friend at the end of high school and into college. One of the best climbers in the world. Max was different than most guys I knew in high school. He wore Patagonia and a bandana around his forehead. He didn't care what people thought about him. He was real and he was in love with the outdoors. While most of my friends wanted to go to movies, shop or do something else that required money, Max and I would go play with the horses, walk around Smith Rock, explore the back roads, sit on the railroad tracks in the middle of a bridge over a huge damn... anything that made us feel alive.

Richard

 
I haven't known Richard for more than a year; however, I have learned so much about living life to the fullest through my time with Richard. At sixty-five-years-of-age, he is leaving in three days to climb Denali. The seven summits... that is his goal. He is on his fourth summit. This man is a beast. He doesn't care about his age, all he knows is his ability to enjoy his health and the world. He has the same mentality as I do: Push hard and when you feel like you can't go one more step, push even harder.

Most of my best memories from life were spent outdoors, getting dirty, wondering if I would survive my kayak tipping or questioning my ability to make it to the top of a hill. I love trail running because it allows me to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Marathon runners have become addicted to PRing. I got caught up in that lifestyle for awhile, then I realized that wasn't why I began running. I don't care how fast or how far I run, all I care about is the moment. Savoring life, enjoying the scenery, finding peace in the quiet. Wyoming has given me all of this. It has helped me remember that it's not about the clothes you wear or the amount of money you put into your triathlon bike, it's about living in the moment.

This is who I am. This is the epic story I want to live. I don't want to be held back by money or responsibilities. I don't want to be confined by four (/eight) walls. I am a strong, confident woman and I want to take the bull by the horns and not waste one second of the day.

Life is like a river; it's in constant motion and I want to be caught in its stream.